You know your addicted to the Internet when ... |
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| SydneyGuy | You start tilting your head sideways when you smile, just like this .... :) You get a tattoo that says "this body best viewed with Internet Explorer v6.0 or higher". You step out of your room and realise that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened. Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favourite IRC channel. You don't know the sex of 3 of your closest friends because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. Instead of saying stuff like "I can't remember" you use expressions like "Search complete. Data not found" You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. You've even set up a homepage for your parrot. When your e-mail inbox shows, "No new messages" you feel really depressed. You tell the cab driver you live at http://121.railway.street.rockdale.nsw.australia.com/ You actually just Googled that 121.railway.street.rockdale.nsw.australia.com address to see if it really exists. Your name is Joe Blow, you're 19 and a half years old and your resume says .....Name: Joe Blow Age: version 19.5 You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net. And even your dreams at night are in HTML. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. Your bookmark takes 15 mins to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You miss more than 5 meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee. You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public rest rooms. You kiss your girlfriend's homepage. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search. When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. You refuse to go to a vacation spots with no electricity and no phone lines. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cell modem and a laptop. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. All of your friends have an @ in their names. You realise there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are. You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore. Your friends no longer send you email - they just log on to your IRC channel. You buy a captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. Your wife makes a new rule: "the computer cannot come to bed". You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP ... because you never log off. You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet. You forget what year it is. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 500hrs per month "unlimited". You turn on your computer and turn off your wife. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. As your car crashes through the guard-rail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems. You wake up at 4:00 in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. After reading this list, you immediately forward it to a friend! |
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