| Anything goes !!! | |
| mafisKumA | A Prayer for the Stressed !!! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannon change The courage to change the things I cannot accept And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had To kill today because they p*ssed me off Help me to always give 100% at work 12% on Monday 23% on Tuesday 40% on Wednesday 20% on Thursday 05% on Fridays And help me to remember When I’m having a really bad day And it seems that people are trying their hardest to p*ss me off That it takes 42 muscles to frown and Only 6 to pull the trigger Amen |
| mafisKumA | Interesting Facts on Water We all know that water is important but I've never seen it written down like this before. 1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population) 2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. 3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%. 4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pains for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study. 5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. 6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. 7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the com! puter screen or on a printed page. 8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day? now -- COKE 1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. 2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days. 3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china. 4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola. 5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:! Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. 7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy. 8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield. For Your Info 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis. 2. To carry Coca-Cola ! syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials. 3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or coke? |
| mafisKumA | This kid will go far!!! This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida, and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME:- Greg Bulmash SEX:- Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION:- Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY:- $185,000.00 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION:- Yes LAST POSITION HELD:- Target for middle management hostility. SALARY:- Less than I’m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:- My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it-notes. REASON FOR LEAVING:- It sucked. AVAILABLE TO WORK:- Of course! That’s why I’m applying. PREFFERED HOURS:- 1:30 – 3:30pm Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:- Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:- If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50LBS?:- Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:- I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?” HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:- I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?:- On the job, no; on my breaks, yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS:- Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:- Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE:- Aries |
| graf | Anythings goes, what about my undiess ??? |
| Astrogirl | I thought anything did go already[:D] |
| Astrogirl | Mate your undies's went a loooong time ago along with my .......[:0][:D] |
| graf | yeah up my bum hahah |
| Astrogirl | When you wear next to nothing you don't have that problem[^] Have you ever thought about g-strings for guys?[:D] Good for a perve[:p] Providing you have a good set of cheeks for the job[;)] |
| graf | lelel Fuk off sega jas ke nosum Tanga. Nemate chance. Anyway my bum eats my undies so i get that Tanga outline ahahahahh |
| Astrogirl | [:D] |