| Married Life | |
| Whitebaby | This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife: "Honey, I'll be right back..." "Where are you going coochy cooh...?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" - Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is: "Yes, loolie loolie...but the bar.... you know...the frozen glass..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying: "You want a frozen glass puppy face?" - She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, says: "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long.I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres poochi pooh?" - She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words cutie pie?" HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING FUCKING ANYWHERE! GOT IT ASSHOLE?!!" hohohohohohohohohoh [:D][:D][:D] |
| OooOo | Whitebaby FASHISTA !!! Najgolema Feministkinja!!! |
| Whitebaby | Koj??? Jas??? [:0] Naaaaaah!!! [:D] |
| OooOo | Оди Трпе по улица и слуша: 'Стој'!!! Застанува, и пред него паѓа клавир. Оди понатаму и пак истиот глас: 'Стој'!!! Застанува и пред него една кола со голема брзина поминува. Се врти, гледа но не може да види никого. - Кој си ти што два пати ми го спасуваш животот? Гледа во раката едно малечко ангелче. - 'Јас сум твојот ангел чувар!!!' Трпе замавнува со десната рака го смачкува и вели: - Кај беше кога се женев, мајку ти ибам? |
| Whitebaby | OooOo SHOVINISTA!!! |
| AaaAa | DARLING WILL YOU SPENd THE NEXT TEN YEARS WITH ME? Darling. We've known each other for more than a year now. During that time, we've shared so much—our hopes, our dreams, our fears. I know when I met you I wasn't thinking of starting up a serious relationship, but my admiration and respect for you quickly blossomed into love. You're my best friend and my confidant, and I can't imagine spending the better part of the next decade without you. I know I've been vague about taking "the next step," but all that has changed. Your patience, loyalty, and love have made me see the world in an entirely new light. It's a place where true love can exist. So I ask you, Julie Bramhall... Will you spend the next six to ten years with me? I realize it's sudden. We just moved in together three months ago, and I'm still looking for a better-paying job. But when I look into your eyes, I see all the things I never used to want. A big wedding. Kids. A house with a white picket fence that I'll have to move out of in about seven years when you discover I'm sleeping with my secretary. I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but you're the only one I want to wake up next to for the rest of my thirties. I remember telling you early in our relationship that I never wanted to get married. But, sometimes, I stay awake after you've fallen asleep and just look at you and stroke your hair. I can't believe what a lucky man I am. When the moonlight hits your delicate features just right, I see an angel. An angel who will turn cold and indifferent to me in five years because of festering resentment over my drinking. But if I could only capture how you look on film during those moments, I swear we could make a million dollars. God, you're so beautiful at this stage of your life. Did you know that most of my friends are amazed that a woman of your caliber would even be going out with me, much less be interested in marrying me? They're always talking about how smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous you are. I have no choice but to agree. When I take a step back and look at things, there's no reason someone so luminous should be interested in a guy like me. Of course, I always point out to them that your looks will be pretty well faded by 2008. But when I think how stunning you are now, I can only shake my head in disbelief. Marriage is a big step to make, I know. But when I think of all the memories we've shared together, it makes me want a medium amount more. Do you remember that time we stumbled onto the bridge in Georgia overlooking a moonlit river, and we just held each other close, watching the waves gently lap on the shore? What about all the Sundays we lay in bed together until early afternoon? I cherish these memories, and I want to share more until our relationship is reduced to screaming fights, endless hours of legal battles, and an attempt on your part to stab me with a potato peeler. If you asked me two years ago if I was ever going to want kids, I would have looked at you like you were crazy. But sometimes, when I'm walking with you hand in hand, I imagine us pushing a stroller. And I like that image. I see us with two kids, a boy and a girl. That would be perfect. They could hold each other up after I'm gone. I really think you'd make an incredible mother, Julie. And I think you'll eventually make a great single mother, too. You've got that inner strength. You don't have to answer right away if you don't want to. It's a big decision, and I wouldn't want you to take it lightly. Think it over. Talk to your friends and family. I already asked your father for your hand in marriage, and he gave his blessing. But before you answer, you should know that I truly do love you and want to spend nearly a decade with you. Without you, my life is incomplete. At least, until I meet our daughter's dance instructor. So, please, Julie Bramhall... Say you'll grow early middle-aged with me. |
| Whitebaby | There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked: "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said: "NOT THIS TIME." hhohohohohohohohohoho [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] |