| telefonska sekretarka | |
| sinner` | "Momentalno se banjam , ostavete poraka posle signalot, ke vi se javam koga ke mi se izladi vodata.." " Na zalost ova e samo telefonskata sekretarka. Jas sum na rabota, za da go otplatam ovoj glupaf aparat, ne ostavajte poraka zatoa shto nema da vi se javam, javete se ushte ednash koga ke sum doma!!!" |
| Mufla | Ova kaj bracet mi: Go dobifte brojot 123456. Od ko ke svirnit kazi sho e rabotava. |
| aNihuNNy | Let's face it: there are moments when you just can't get to the phone. (sound of toilet flushing) Hi, you've reached Dr. 's office. We're unable to answer your call, but please tell us what's bothering you. You may talk as long as you like. (wait) There, now don't you feel better? That will be $40. Don't EVER call me again!!! Hi, I'm not home right now....well, actually I am home NOW, because I'm recording this message. But to you it's not now, it's later. So I'm not home later, which is now to you. So leave a message and I'll call back when it's later to both of us. Hello? (Pause for a while) Hey, Haven't talked to you in a while (pause for person to respond) Oh really? (person calling continues to talk) That's so cool but it's too bad because... I'm not home right now...please leave a message after the beep! Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. |
| sinner` | " Ovde avtomataskata ispovedalnica na father John.Gospod ke ti prosti.Kazi si gi grevovite posle signalot, i kazi 3 pati oce nash i 2 pati Ave Maria otkako ke spushtish. Amen." |
| OooOo | Leave a message or leave me alone :) |
| aNihuNNy | Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back... (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good. Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message! (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level! (Cheers.) And now, at the sound of the tone, leave your name, number, the time you called, and a brief message. As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep... |
| sinner` | "Hi, jas sum Helga, single , plava so plavi oci i ne sum doma, sega koga veke znaesh neshto za mene , kazi neshto i za sebe ..." |
| sinner` | Vie imate pravo na molcenje , se shto ke kazete moze i ke se upotrebi protiv vas.Ako nemate telefonska sekretarka, togash da si kupite, i ako sakate neshto da kazete, napravete go toa sega ili molcete zasekogash... piep |
| sinner` | - Ova e telefonskata sekretarka na Robert, se shto sakate da mu kazete ,kazete mi i mene... piep - Go dobifte brojot 263584, povtoruvam 947264, ushte ednash 502228...piep - This is your international operator.The number you have dialed in Saudi-Arabia is no longer in service.Please contact your local operator... piep |
| aNihuNNy | "This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call." "I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks." "I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message." Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does... |
| aNihuNNy | You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me... Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...! Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Hi! (name)'s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW! |
| GoDsHaNd | Здраво. Ај сега ти кажи нешто. Здраво, јас сум телефонската секретарка. А ти што си? Здраво, ако оставите порака, ќе ве побарам наскоро. Ако оставите секси порака, ќе ве побарам одма. Го добивте CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Вашиот глас ќе биде дигитално обработен и мемориран за подоцнежна употреба. Кога тоа ќе се направи, нашиот компјутер ќе биде во состојба да направи илјадници телефонски повици со вашиот глас. Тој ќе биде употребен исклучиво за неморални цели и изнудување пари од граганите. Меѓутоа, постои шанса да го откупите од нас својот гласовен запис. Нам ни е сеедно од кого ќе изнудиме пари а вам ви одговара да ги избегнете законските последици. Затоа, контактирајте не и во иднина. Благодариме. Се повеќе и повеќе сте уморни. Вашите очи стануваат тешки. Се чувствувате поспано. Полека ја губите волјата и способноста да им пружите отпор на сугестиите. Кога ќе го слушнете звучниот сигнал, ќе добиете неодолива потреба да го оставите вашето име и бројот на телефонот. |
| Strelec | Сите што ги прочитав досега се спектакуларно добри!:))) So, don't stop!!!:) |
| sinner` | "jas sum tape... phone tape...imate tocno 30 sekundi za vashata poraka.... 30.. 29.. 28.. 27.. 26..25.. " " alo... alo...mozesh poglasno da zborish..alo .. se ushte ne te razbraf.... e ne vikaj tolku , tuka e samo telefonskata sekretarka!!!" " vashiot poziv go registriraf.. ve molam sea spushtete" "shto e malo, crno, chetvrtasto i pravi "piep"? Tochno! Telefonska sekretarka...." |
| sinner` | " i pak go pogreshifte brojot????Zoshto?pa zatoa shto brojot e promenet, noviot broj e...... sega ne go znam na pamet!!!" "This is David. Talk." "Mama ne e tuka, tato ne e tuka.... i jas ne sum tuka." "Jas ne tuka.. prvo piep.. posle bla" "Ova ke bide kratok i ednostran muabet" "Vnimanie..vnimanie... se snima..." |
| aNihuNNy | wont stop dont stop =) Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Italian Mafia-style voice:) I can't come to the phone right now. Me and Guido are trying to stuff a body in the trunk. I think we're going to have to size it a little... (Aside:) HEY GUIDO! GET THE CHAINSAW! Anyways, leave your name and a message. If I like it, you'll hear from me. If not, you'll hear from Guido! (Laughter.) This is ()'s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding. Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone... Hi, I'm not home because I've gone on a BLOODY RAMPAGE! When I get home, and CLEAN OFF THE BLOOD, I'll be sure to give you a call. If I haven't ALREADY COME OVER, that is. (Coughing loony laughter.) Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that. The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. (Yes, same number.) Please make a note of it. Please leave a tone after the message. Hi, you have reached (Name). I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me. Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back. A is for alcohol, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why i'm not here. So leave a message. OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions? |
| aNihuNNy | Go dobivte brojot 123 - 456. Sektetarkata za snimanje poraki ja kupivme vcera od bitpazar na namalenie. Mozete da probate i da ostavite poraka na nea, no ne sme sigurni deka ke bide snimena. Ako ne vi se javime nazad znachi mashinata ne raboti.. |
| a-pin-dim | Go dobivte Vojo, Proverete dali e zad vas !! Go dobivte govornoto sandace: izvinete cistam go sega WC podocna ke me dobiete !! |
| aNihuNNy | You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet you couldn't hear that. Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling... Please leave your name and number -- But first, a short algebra quiz: How much is 5Q + 5Q? (Pause while caller thinks: 10Q) You're welcome! |
| sinner` | "Se ima eden kraj , samo kolbasot dva, i na ovaa kaseta ke mu dojde krajot. Ako ste pametni ke ostavite poraka za Miki pred toa da se sluci." |
| aNihuNNy | hahahahhaha se iznasmeav!!!!! LMFAO!! |
| Strelec | Абе ајдете... сакам уште пораки!!!:) aNihuNNy, sinner`...:) |
| sinner` | strelec eve ti edna[:D] "Ovde kompjuterot, telefonskata sekretarka pobegna so telefonot, ne ostavajte poraka zatoa shto Stole nema ni od shto da vi se javi, pratete e-mail" |
| sinner` | " Tuka Obi Wan Pero.Nazalost momentalno imam sostanok so Darth Vader i ne mozam licno so vas da stapam vo kontakt,no slobodno ostavete poraka na R2D2 " |
| GoDsHaNd | Ova e kaj mufla: Jas sum mufla i sum gay. Posle gay tonot ostavete gay poraka. :) |
| OooOo | Out of office phone/email replies ********************* Thank you for your message, which has been added to an email queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks and 3 days. ********************* I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. ********************* You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. ********************* Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. ********************* I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'John'. ********************* I've run away to join a different circus! ********************* |
| Divider | Honey, how to you turn this thingy on..no..no..fucking machine...shit...beep |