Some funny airline stuff
Some funny airline stuff
AaaAa Ne e ni bitno kolku e vistina, bitno smesno e ;) Subject: Quantas After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P= The problem logged by the pilot.) (S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S:Took hammer away from midget
ProMKD Najdobri se ovie!
OooOo ma site se dobri :))
VeGaS
quote:
Originally posted by AaaAa P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
HaHAhahAhahAhahA
Thunder from down under ovie dve mene mi se najsmeshni 1.P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S:Took hammer away from midget 2.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. btw: Qantas a ne quantas Queensland And Northern Territory Airlane Service
Jakov A guy sitting at Bar at Brussels Airport noticed a very beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for? Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, "Oh sh!t, she doesn't work for Delta". A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list. Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk." This time the woman turned on him "What the F**K do you want?" The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said, Ahhhhh, Uzbekistan Airways!
ProMKD A guy is sitting on a plane, waiting for everyone to get on. He has had trouble in the past with women, so he hopes to meet one soon, possibly today on the plane. Along comes this BEAUTIFUL blonde woman and sits next to him. He is really nervous, but decides to make a move on her and talk. He says "So, are you going to New York on business or pleasure? She says "On business, I'm going to a Nimfo convention, I am going to talk about sexual myths" He thinks to himself, YES i scored. He says "What sort of sexual myths?" She says "People think that black men have the largest penis and french people make the best love, but its not true. Native American people have the largest penis and Jewish people make the best love. I'm sorry, i don't even know who you are, whats your name" The man thinks...."my....my name is...uh...Tanto...Tanto Goldstein"